Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
