Rock
Scissors
Fuck
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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