One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
