i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
