We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
