Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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