The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
