3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
