remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
