big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
