i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
