She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
