They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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