so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
