i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
