Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
