just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
