What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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