I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
