so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
