new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
