I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
