a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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