he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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