im having a threesome with these popsicles
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
