How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
