Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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