If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Randomize
