Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
