Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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