in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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