I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
