I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
