I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
nutella sex= disaster
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
