I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
