How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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