Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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