Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
