Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
We named our party play list daddy issues
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
