Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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