We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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