Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
