I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
