you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
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