i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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