Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
