It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
he puts the penis in happiness.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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