He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
