I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
