if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I need help removing her.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
